Alexis Orgera

 

Confessions on the Grass Behind the Library

 

South Carolina, 1987

 

Ants are happy little communists

schlepping through plastic spines of Bermuda grass,

humping their packs like Quasimodos

of the sandhills.

                        When I was ten

my parents bought me a chemistry set.

I was afraid of my own shadow in those days,

even afraid of the black keys on the Wurlitzer

but chemistry was good for retaliation,

for blowing things up,

for getting a reaction from the dead heat

of a Carolina summer.

            108 in the shade.

I was a fry-brained slimy child of the pines

and the beaker of grinning sulfur

the hand of god.

 

When there is nothing left to do,

it’s been proven

you destroy, so I poured a test tube’s fizzy

yellow mess into the anthill’s eye.

            I didn’t read the alchemy of it

or play any radio waves.

 

All those little soldiers came bubbling out

like perforated souls

who never could trust me again.

 

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